To be a farmer , you do n’t necessarily require to go around all the meter saying things like “ anhydrous ammonia water , ” “ haylage , ” or “ combine ” to make it sound like you know what you ’re talking about , but peppering your belittled talk with a few oddball farm footing can give you the same rep as tilting back your clobber stalk hat with just the good hand gesture . The next time you ’re at an vendue or one of those awful husbandman cocktail party , try chuck out a few of these terms around .
Cat Skinner
A person who drive or maneuver a Caterpillar tractor . It is especially effective to adjudge oneself a cat Fred Skinner , and then when everyone turns unfriendly stares in your direction , express joy mockingly and explain that you have a new tractor .
Chester White
That guy you had a crunch on in 4th grade because he had that thick light-haired hair and a Stingray bike with streamers — or a stock of Sus scrofa originate in Chester County , Pa. , tracing back to a white boar from England in the former 1800s . The Sus scrofa was crossed with local breeds to bring forth the ascendent of today ’s Chester White . Your fourth - grade beloved is now in midway management in a small biography insurance policy company , has gone whole bald and has trade in the Stingray for a 1987 Yugo ; the Sus scrofa breed , on the other bridge player , has done much sound for itself . You should entirely get one .
Deadhead
When a plant complete making seed for the season , it stops flowering because it has already completed its mission to go forth and reproduce . Deadheading , or plucking off aging or drained flowers before they produce seeds , proceed the plant bloom longer . Also see “ Grateful utter buff . ”
Dibble
A pointed peter for make holes in the ground to plant seeds . Yeah , fundamentally a pointy stick . you may purchase one on Amazon for 20 bucks . “ Dibbling ” is the act of using a dibble to plant cum or spring medulla . The Book go much sexy than it is . Really . It ’s just prod holes in dirt .
Flerd
Not , as you might expect , a mashup of “ flabby ” and “ nerd , ” but rather , “ flock ” and “ ruck ” : the pattern of pasture sheep and cattle together , or really any multi - species flock / ruck . Urban dictionary defines flerd as “ a flock of wonk , ” but we farmers , being not at all nerdy , know better . Keeping a flerd help improve grunge quality and plant multifariousness , as different coinage favour dissimilar forage .
Hinny
The word “ hinny ” is a term of endearment in parts of England , used much as one might use “ honey ” when name to a get it on one . It is also , however , the offspring of a stallion ( virile Equus caballus ) and a jenny ass ( distaff donkey ) , so we do not recommend using it as a pet name without clarify the difference in progress — or you may end up with dibble holes in uncomfortable places .
Pasting
So I was peculiar why a reference to making paper chains and lantern would appear in information about husbandry , but the flour / weewee paste of my childhood , often eaten by my classmates , is atotallydifferent thing . In farming , the paste referred to in glue isdefinitelynot something even a first grader would corrode . Rather , it ’s the consideration , often found instressed chick , where droppings cake up over the vent , preventing further evacuation . Keep an centre out for the fairly obvious signs , and be prepared with a wet cloth or even a bowl of ardent piss to dip their little behind in , for serious case . Be vigilant — pasting up is a fatal condition if not treated immediately .
Shrinkage
No , it isnotthe same shoplifting made famous bySeinfeld . If you ’re a husbandman , it ’s the passing of your product as it move through the marketplace system of rules . Losses may be due to damage during shipment , production trimming or moisture loss . OK , really , I approximate itiskinda the same …
Sucker
A bud that grows into a branch from the base of a fruit tree or in the fork between another branch and the main stem , which can crowd together out the original arm , if not take away . Also a gullible individual or something that is really , really spoiled . ( Also see “ Disco Music ” . )
Toad Strangler
No , not an underachieving serial killer ; rather , a very gravid rain . We are pray for toad stranglers out here in California . OK , that sounds fairly weird . Still , an first-class idiomatic locution . I care to thrash it out at cocktail company as a conversation stopple .
Zebrass
Offspring of a zebra and a donkey ( tail ) . Not really sure why anyone would bid to combine a zebra with another equid , as zebra are quite spectacular on their own and do not seem to require any sort of betterment , but perhaps it ’s done simply to be capable to make cool zebra - equid name mashups , such as the following :
That should be enough to get you started . Now you could look onward to your nextbarn raisingor plowing political party with confidence . Do n’t forget to rub some dirt into that unexampled straw chapeau .
